Giving Up

Hello Reader,

     I've met with a number of very stressed clients and colleagues this past week, many of whom share a similar complaint -- that the path they're on just feels too hard and unrelenting. We all get discouraged at times, with whatever journey we're on, and it can be a simultaneously bleak and relieving thought to "just give up".  Then I heard something very compelling said by one of the nominated CNN "heroes", (a breed unto themselves, a model of integrity and compassion for us all). When asked if he ever felt like giving up his difficult mission, he said "Of course! I give up once a week, then I get back to work, when I've gotten the despair out of my system."
What a great attitude-- legitimize your frustration, designate some time for it, then pick yourself up, and get back to work! I actually used it on myself today. Yesterday, I had multiple frustrations with insurance companies, (the bane of my existence), hassles with technology, and scheduling glitches, so I "gave up!" Today I had several clients who needed to be seen and I wanted to see, amidst an entire day of drilling, paving and exhaust fumes coming from the repaving of the entire rear parking lot. Not to mention the frigid temperature in my office coming through the still broken window (the one a kid hurled a rock through last week), and continued needed preparations for the Thanksgiving weekend with family, amidst my wish to have everything sparkling, and lovely. I had the "I give up!" thought on my way home, then paused, and remembered that I did that yesterday, so it wasn't an option to go there today, that if I really needed to, I could "give up" next week when my "turn" came up again. It was very soothing, and containing and ridiculously funny all at once! Try it, and see what you think!

Good night, good luck, and Happy Thanksgiving!
Susan Lager

"Stop and be thankful!"

Newsflash!!!!!

Hi Reader,

I'm burning the (post) midnight oil again, this time bringing you exciting news!!
I'm about to go live in the next few weeks with my own show on BlogTalk Radio!  It will be a 30 minute talk show about relationship issues, featuring experts in the field of psychology and mental health sharing their insights and perspectives with all of you and with me.
You'll be able to call in live during the show with questions and comments, so it should be VERY interesting, informative, and hopefully, fun when appropriate. Tune in! Here's the web site:
The Couplespeak Relationship Forum

(Next, I'm working on a new formula for maximum health and functioning on four hours of daily sleep.)
Haven't figured that one out yet......

Signing off,
Susan Lager
PS. Check out my poll at the bottom of the blog and enter your answers!

Go Easy On Yourself!

It all started with mean old, red-faced Miss Siegel, my first grade teacher who yelled at me whenever I didn't put some project together properly. From that year on, I became officially "mechanically challenged". To this day, operating the giant snow blower, or fancy new washing machine may as well be a secret assignment to decipher the DaVinci code. It often takes me three minutes just to figure out how to turn off the new TV, and the DVD player, not the streaming video. Don't even ask what I've gone through manipulating HTML code, doing uploads, downloads, and distinguishing directories from folders in this bizarre internet world!!!  But the good (and not so good) news is:  I'm not alone! There are millions of us out there, swearing at the TV, staring at the washing machine, and having a love-hate relationship with their laptops. I've worked with many right-brained clients trapped in a left-brained world, wondering what's wrong with themselves, stymied by online bills, ATM's, and the ultimate mystery of resetting their car clocks. Over the years, our work together has been a combination of gentle self-acceptance, and self-challenge, i.e. where did this script come from? and how to push yourself outside your comfort zone to master new skills? Recently, I heard that Albert Einstein couldn't tie his own shoe laces (!) So, go easy on yourselves, Right-brainers, maybe your car clock eludes you, but just think, you could instead create the NEW Theory of Relativity!

Goodnight and good luck,
Susan Lager
PS.  Check out my latest video about thankfulness on YouTube!
       Susan Lager's Youtube Channel
PSS.  Also check out my poll at the bottom of this blog and enter!

An Antidote To Poison Thoughts

Hello Reader,

     For the third time in a single day, the evil thought insinuates itself in my brain: "Your life will never be easier, never, ever.........."  (Here's the short version of the context):
- a second disaster at the same ATM in one week resulting in another chewed up deposit
- a kid hurling a rock through my office window in the middle of a session
- my car needs to be registered, now!
- I'm two weeks late mailing my nephews' birthday presents, I'm a bad aunt.....
Need I say more? So what do I do when the poison self-talk seeps in? (while I'm stuck in a traffic jam on the bridge under construction)?
I roll up the windows and at the top of my lungs shout:  POISON WORDS!  POISON WORDS!  POISON WORDS!  And before I can reach the final part of the antidote (challenge the deletions and distortions:  Never easier? Easier than what? Ever? Your whole life?), I'm laughing out loud at my own drama. It's a grade B movie. Get over yourself, Susan.
So what are your poison words?

Wishing you a more pleasant ATM visit,
Susan Lager
PS.  Check out my latest published article about forgiveness after an affair at:
         http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_Lager
PSS.  Also check my poll at the bottom of the blog and enter your answers!

Challenge Myself

Hi Reader,

     This weekend I pushed myself to do something I would never imagine myself doing. I did a coach training weekend online, sitting on the couch glued to the computer for 18 hours with a bunch of strangers from all over the U.S. and Europe.  We forfeited an entire Fall weekend, (luckily it was pewy), and did exercises requiring us to be emotionally naked. And on top of that, it wasn't my familiar therapy frame, it was "Greek", forcing my brain to do gymnastics! I tried something totally foreign, from another planet, and guess what? Nobody got killed! The group members made each other cry, chuckle, and feel totally understood around acknowledged dreams.  One dismantled roadblock was that people from all walks of life, in different circumstances can not only make a meaningful connection in very little time, but also inspire each other to change and grow.  So as I sit here a bit cramped up and numb in the joints, I feel looser in other important ways, really glad I challenged myself.  Here's a quote about this subject you may enjoy:
"Above all, challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish"-- Cecile Springer

Goodnight folks,
Susan Lager
PS. You can access lots of information about making changes at my website:
       How To Be A Better Couple
PSS.  Check out my poll at the bottom of the blog and share your thoughts!