"...Fix Communication Problems" Workbook Now Available on Kindle!

Exciting news! 
My new little workbook, "I'm Talking! Are You Listening?" Fix Communication Problems With Your Partner In No Time Flat!  is now available as a Kindle eBook! It was just published and can be purchased at:

http://amzn.to/TQlnO1   

Use tools I've developed from YEARS of experience as a couples therapist, and learn to have better communication with all the people who matter to you.

"Staying Positive While Looking For Work" 10/17 8:30 PM EST BlogTalk Radio show!

Timely and important BlogTalk Radio show! Wednesday, 10/17/12 at 8:30 PM I'll be co-hosting with New York City career coach and mentor, Laura Rivchun, Principal at Chrysalis Career Coaching.
Laura works with people in various types of career transitions, helping them to maximize their opportunities for the best possible work situations. We'll be dealing with tools and tips for "staying in the game" with good energy, as well as pointers for what NOT to do on resumes and interviews.

Call in toll-free at 877-497-9046 to listen in, or to join us on the air live with your questions or comments. If you can't make the live show, go to the link below to catch the recorded show at your convenience.
One way or another, in this economy with the job situation so difficult, you can't afford to miss this
show!
Staying Positive While Looking For Work

The Wifeguard

My husband Thom thinks he's a regular handyman. He loves to "fix" things like re-wire lamps, unclog dishwasher parts, and make trash drawers slide like they're supposed to. I affectionately call him "Mr.
FixIt" because most things he "fixes" with the best of intentions, end up
slightly better in some ways, but still essentially broken. His real passion, however, is yard work on our land where he gets thrills from chopping down trees, hauling brush, seeding and mowing lawns, and generally riding around in his tractor, happy as a clam. What all this "work" requires, however, given the loud equipment he uses, is a pair of industrial "earmuffs," supposedly to protect his hearing. But I'm convinced the muffs are for an entirely different thing - to block out my constant requests that he do this or that. I have therefore affectionately, (but I think, aptly), named the the muffs "THE WIFEGUARD."
As a couples therapist and relationship coach, I think my husband has devised a unique marital tool -a perfect way to ignore me without ever having to say anything hurtful or rude. When I shout requests at him, he either doesn't hear me at all, and just keeps doing his thing, or he smiles at me quizzically, shakes his head,  makes a motion that he can't hear me, and cheerfully keeps going. Occasionally, when I wave my arms and make faces, looking really adamant about being heard, he takes off "the Wifeguard" momentarily and shouts, "What???"
How can I be mad, married to such an industrious, clever guy?

Ah, marriage.........
Susan Lager

PS.  For access to a somewhat more traditional marital tool, you can get a copy of my newly published book, "I'm Talking! Are You Listening?"Fix Communication Problems With Your Partner In No Time Flat!  You can buy it on Amazon at:
       http://amzn.to/Qprh8v 

Polling The Peanut Gallery

Have you had the experience of being so uncertain about what to do or think or feel about a particular subject that you go around to key people in your inner circle to ask for advise? My sense is that most people do this at times in relation to something really important or charged. It can be a validating or reassuring experience getting this kind of feedback: (What do others think? What would reasonable people do in this situation)?

There's something quite different I see some people do with frequency. I call it "polling the peanut gallery," or gathering opinions whenever there's a feeling of self doubt or anxiety about a situation. Their fantasy is that there's a "right" way to operate, and that other people know better what that is. In my experience professionally and personally, I see women more often doing this, maybe because the culture trains women to value connection, and isn't so great at training women to value their own voices, or internal truths.

If you're someone who routinely polls your own peanut gallery, chances are it doesn't help you to develop more trust in your own feelings or perceptions. If the net effect of your polling is to create more confusion as you gather more opinions, than take some time to check in with yourself about what
seems right for you, and leave the polling for the upcoming election instead!

Cheers,
Susan Lager
PS. Learn to say what you need! Find out more in my new communication workbook, "I'm Talking! Are You Listening?"  Get it on Amazon at: http://amzn.to/Qprh8v