Down With The Flu

This photo tells it all. It's the way I've been feeling for the last two days, and that, even after a Flu shot!
What a shame with such grand plans for a weekend x-country skiing on an idyllic farm in Southern Maine! Four inches of packed powder, new snow on its way, and here I am, blowing my nose, sleeping all day and night, and thankful for my ability to keep down tea and chicken soup!

When we get sick, it feels horrible, but the bright side is that it forces people like me to SLOW DOWN,
WAY DOWN, and reevaluate how critical our ambitious little plans are in the big scheme of things.
It also gives our partners opportunities to nurture us with "holding down the fort," (dishes, laundry, shopping), as well as providing us with comforting remedies like Ginger ale, flu medicines, and in my husband's case, a big pot of chicken soup he learned how to make on his own!

So before the fever breaks, I think I'll take it all in and try to flow with the state of sloth, knowing it only comes around once in a few years!

Down With The Flu

BlogTalk Radio Show Year In Review Summary. (You asked for it!)

On January 2, 2013 I did my last BlogTalk Radio Show, "2012 Year In Review. Options For Looking Back, Then Forward." It was a very successful episode with quite a few live listeners, and nearly 500 "listens" to the recorded show in the five days since then! As per your many requests, I'm posting the two types of reviews here, each creating a very different sense of things, and a different spin on your life, looking back, then forward.
To hear the recorded show in its entirety, go to: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager

If you're doing your own 2012 Year In Review you could reflect back in the most common way on these things:

• how much money you made or didn't

• how often your body broke down with illness

• how many vacations you went on, and if they were worth the cost, and the time you took off

• how much weight you gained or lost

• if you finally stopped smoking or not

• how your spouse drove you crazy

• which friends let you down, and how

• if you got your house de-cluttered or not

• who had a messy affair; who got divorced

• who died and how

• your failures at work

• how much you wasted your gym membership

• your guilt about not reading more books

• your disappointments as a parent

• tragedies which occurred, making you paranoid

• the huge amount of taxes you paid or now owe

(Blah, blah, blah....) Any others I’ve missed?

Or you could do this kind of Year In Review:

• what were my major accomplishments at work?

• what positive steps did I take in my marriage?

• how was I more thoughtful and loving to my family?
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• did I do any better at setting appropriate limits around time asked of me?

•  how well did I take care of myself physically?

• did I expand myself intellectually and spiritually?

• what major lessons did I learn in 2012?

      

•  did I have enough fun this past year?

• did I stand up for what's important to me?

• what did I model for my children?

• was I a generous enough friend to the people I care about?

• whose accomplishments brought me joy?

Get the difference? After you have (hopefully) chosen the latter set of reflections, you have a beginning template for an even better 2013!  For help regarding negative self talk, feel free to contact me at my office at 603-431-7131 to set up an appointment for some brief psychotherapy work.

Tune into my next show on Wednesday, Jan. 30th.  And have a happy, productive and meaningful New Year!

2012 Year In Review BlogTalk Radio Episode January 2nd 8:30 PM

Don't miss my next BlogTalk Radio episode, "2012 Year In Review, Options For Looking Back, Then Forward." I'll be broadcasting at 8:30 PM EST, encouraging a conversation with callers who can join me live on the air by calling toll-free 877-497-9046. We'll be dealing with choices we all have about what markers we focus on, and how that may impact our experience of reflection, as well as our attitudes about the future. It should be interesting!

If you can't make the live show, you can listen to the archived episode at:
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager

Try New Things In 2013!

(If you've been wondering where I've been for the last few weeks, I've been shoveling.) Only, kidding, that's just been the scene for the last few hours, getting ready for yet another snow storm, so the new ten inches doesn't collapse the deck with the 6 inch ice base underneath. Ah, New England........

Now that all your  presents are unwrapped, (and hopefully, already paid for), the guests have gone home, (or if they're leaving from New England, they are TRYING to go home amidst this second post Christmas blizzard), the leftovers are in the fridge, (hopefully you have leftovers, and didn't eat it ALL), you're filled with more good memories, (hopefully it wasn't a nightmare holiday), and you too, are looking forward to the New Year, with new chances to do better, or to just do some new, adventurous things.

As for me, I'm about to publish my second workbook called, "Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime Of Therapy."  It's all about how to do better in all your key relationships. It's been quite a haul getting it done, but I think you'll love it as I do, and benefit tremendously from the tools and insights I've provided in the book. You'll be able to buy it on Amazon in late January 2013!

So, what's the point?  Try new things in the new year, or you'll get stale and rusted! What's the worst that could happen? Failure? Mistakes? So what? Unless we get hit by a truck, there are usually more chances to do whatever it is better, or to let it go. Mistakes, as I say, are "valuable information potentially used for new learning". Here's to courage! Here's to mistakes!

Gotta go help with more shoveling. The snow has arrived, and the Snowblower Guy, my husband, probably could use the moral support.

Cheers,

Susan Lager

Rescheduled BlogTalk Radio Show Wednesday, 12/5/12 9 PM EST

Don't miss "My Five Point Plan For Surviving and Thriving During the Holidays" episode!
Due to faulty audio it was rescheduled from last month, but is being re-aired just in time for
the rest of the holiday season.
Call in toll-free at 877-497-9046 at 9 PM to join me live on the air with your questions,
comments and stories. I'd love to have this be a conversation we can all enjoy and learn from!

If you can't make the live show, you can hear the recorded episode by going to:
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/susanLager

Cheers,
Susan Lager

Finishing A Project

I'm in the home stretch for the completion of my second book, "Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime Of Therapy." I think I now understand first hand what the dilemma is for so many people about finishing a project!

When you're involved in a project which is meaningful to you it's like getting married. You make a supposed commitment to do your best and hang in there "in sickness and in health." You often do it publicly, like having a wedding. You tell your friends and family about it, and they become invested as well, so if you bag it, it's similar to the humiliation of a divorce - you feel like a failure who's let everyone down. Or worse, people don't take you seriously after that around your passions and projects.

Is the solution to just not try to accomplish too much to avoid all this aggravation? No, I think it's a better idea to closely monitor your negative self talk and your possible self sabotaging behaviors, then remind yourself why you bothered with the project to begin with, to reinforce your motivation to get to the finish line.

I'm going to do just that with the book. Not think about it too much, and plow forward, reminding myself why I've bothered. When you see the book posted on Amazon.com you'll know I made it to the finish line. If and when you read the book, you too will know why I bothered.

Cheers,
Susan Lager