Don't Miss My Next Blogtalk Radio Episode: 6 Cures For A Really Bad Mood 7/31/13 8:30 PM EDT

We all suffer a bad mood from time to time. It's never fun, but can be a more lasting, contagious experience, or a briefer, more benign annoyance, depending on how you manage it.
Tune into my next BlogTalk Radio show Wednesday, July 31st at 8:30 PM EDT for a half hour discussion about tools to contain and transform a bad mood.

Call toll-free 877-497-9046 to just listen in, or to join me on the air with questions, comments or ideas of your own. Hope you can be there!

Susan Lager

Summer Brain

Every summer I encounter a similar thing: friends, family, colleagues and clients running around, off their usual structured schedules, forgetting appointments, late for dates, and all out of whack.
I call it Summer Brain because maybe the heat and humidity, (and now the torrential rain), seeps into everyone's head and acts like a blender, mixing everything up. People who are usually so precise and committed to dates, times, goals and schedules now all seem to have A.D.D. !

As a therapist, I've learned not to take it too personally, knowing it's seasonal, and in the Northeast it's probably related to the frenetic pace around capitalizing on the measly duration of warm weather.
I make use of the found time when clients forget their appointments by filing, returning calls, organizing my desk, and wondering why I haven't caught the Summer Brain bug? Unfortunately, when I charge clients for these missed appointments they often get annoyed, probably wondering what's wrong with my brain.

But hey, it's summer! We could all instead be shoveling two feet of snow off our roofs, then shivering in our freezing cars, negotiating black ice, and praying for summer!

Life is a trip.....

Unplugged - The Joys and The Freedom!

If you're a regular reader here, maybe you've noticed my absence for the last several weeks. It's been the dog days of summer here in New England, raining nonstop, then boiling hot, then more rain. In spite of the weird weather, we in the Northeast treasure our summers ferociously, trying to capitalize on the three months of the year when snow and blizzards are unlikely. So, I too have been haunting the beaches, the lakes and the mountains, rain or shine. But, most notably, I've been almost completely unplugged from my devices (except for my professional voicemail), and LOVING IT!!!
For weeks now, no blogging, no radio shows, no YouTube videos, hardly a tweet, no clever Facebook entries, no LinkedIn updates, no book drafts, no cellphone calls, nothing!!

Instead of daily "tech dialysis" I've gone tooling around without the world being able to contact me, and the only one who even seems to notice is my husband who thinks it's inconsiderate. (We're working on a compromise).
I've gone to lunches and dinners with people I enjoy having conversations with, instead of whining to tech support.
I've gotten off my laptop and rekindled connections with colleagues and old friends. (They're still alive!)
I've actually been reading books and magazines just for fun! Freedom from emails and Google!
I've been preparing for my boating license test, learning all about "starboard stand-on" versus "port give-way," halyards, double clove knots, and such vital things I'll need to know on the waterways when I'm supposedly "manning the vessel."
I've gone on hikes, bike rides, and car rides in the countryside instead of doing professional gigs.
I've nurtured my garden, watered the lawn, planted new beds, and fought Japanese beetles instead of
battling scam sites and internet viruses.
I've visited other cities, just for fun trips to see the sites. (Cheated a bit with some book promo).
I've watched movies, plays and silly TV shows without any "productive justification."
And miraculously, without all the internet busyness, I've gone to sleep most nights at a normal hour, not on my usual vampire schedule!
I'm telling you, getting unplugged can be a total joy! How novel - life without devices! Try it!

Big Summer Cheers,
Susan Lager

Dreading Another Birthday? Here's An Antidote....

I recently turned a big number. WAY too big for comfort. I had been feeling a bit blue about my upcoming birthday, thinking about how lousy aging can be - worsening vision, hanging flesh, age spots, the need for Shingles shots, people you know dying, more aches and pains, and worst of all, time running out!

Even so, I greatly enjoyed our family's four day celebration marking the event in Philly. After the weekend, I spent the actual day of my birthday off from work with the plan of doing intense "self nurture," something I'm always yapping to my clients about needing to do for themselves. I felt a bit blue, however,  thinking about how fast life had gone by, so I went for a speed walk by the river nearby, feeling a bit lighter immediately. I immersed myself in gardening, cleaning out the beds and planting beautiful new perennials. Felt even better at that point. But the thing that really changed the day into something lovely was a simple thought. As a Baby Boomer, I realized what an amazing group of fearless, feisty, groundbreakers my generation was. We were the ones who initiated the women's movement, reinvented music, fought for racial equality and sexual freedom, peace, love, and FUN, FUN, FUN!
I was a member of the club that transformed the world, and was now entering their last chapter of life. To celebrate, I brought out my stack of 60's Rock CD's, pumped up the volume (poor Dave next door!), and danced for hours, joyous to be at this place in my life, forever young.

So, if you're dreading another birthday yourself, connect with all the amazing people in your own generation, celebrate your contributions, and enjoy the rest of the ride!

Cheers,
Susan Lager

BlogTalk Radio Show Tonight 9 PM EST: The Marriage Fitness Test. Don't Miss It!

Tonight I'll be discussing a brief test you and your spouse can take to determine how stressed or strong your marriage is. You then can hone in on the areas needing work in a targeted way.

Call in toll-free at 877-497-9046 at 9 PM EST for this fact-filled half hour show. You can just listen in or call in with questions or comments.

Hope you can join me! Your marriage will love it!

Susan Lager

Sisterly Love

I'm just returning from a whirlwind weekend in NYC with my little sister, Laura. We went to galleries, an amazing museum, tooled all around the city window shopping, people watching, eating ethnic food, and yakked till 5 AM each night the way only sisters who love each other can. Of course, I couldn't resist the urge to coach her on ways to improve her life, and her relationship with herself. She in return nurtured me with 5 star hotel type service and thoughtfulness. What a joy it is for me to have sisters (I have two) whom I love and enjoy!
If you're lucky enough to have a sister or two of your own, remember they'll always be there with and for you, if you allow them to, so count your blessings and treasure them!

Getaways And Your Sanity

At this writing, I'm on a C & J express bus to my old stomping ground, New York City, for a weekend with my little sister. I'm a strong believer in short getaways as a way of refueling, particularly if the getaway gets you away from your spouse for awhile. That may sound cold, but sometimes a little space has a big positive impact on a marriage. How, you ask?

1. You reconnect with separate friends and relatives on your own without worrying about the mix with a spouse who may not share your enthusiasm for jewelry shopping, lattes, and schmoozing.

2. You re-experience your individual selves which brought you two together. My husband will probably be doing yard work till midnight, watching the news for hours each morning, eating no vegetables except for vodka (made from potatoes), puttering around his workshop, answering no calls, and fondling his new camera he's afraid of using. He'll be in Introvert Heaven. I'll be tooling around the city with my baby sister, bossing her around, buying makeup and doodads, going to museums if it rains, people watching, yakking with strangers, and eating every ethnic thing in sight. I'll be in Extrovert Heaven.

3. You break up the sometimes oppressive routine of your life with more consciousness. In my case, I was amazed to see how many vitamins and creams and solutions and meds I take on any given day just to go on living! I could barely fit it all in my suitcase! I like to think of myself as robust and traveling lightly on this Earth. Apparently, not so....

4. You appreciate all the comforts of home in a renewed way. I don't usually get excited about having a level, stable surface to type on, but today, with the bus jiggling and swaying, I'm realizing how special it is to have tables and desks to put my laptop on, and not worry it will go flying off into the yonder. Small things.....

5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Because I'm a bit morbid and fatalistic, I don't presume I'll make a safe return from ANYWHERE, so I kissed my husband goodbye four times, and hugged him as though I was leaving for a tour of duty in Afghanistan. And now that the bus is approaching the slums of the city limits, I miss him already..... :-|

Happy weekend!

Susan Lager

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"Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime Of Therapy"