Don't miss my interview on National Broadcast Radio Monday, 2/18 at 1:48!

I am being interviewed by National Broadcast Radio on Monday, February 18th
at 1:48 for a brief 8 minutes. If you'd like to tune in live go to  www.nbrfm.com/studio2
to hear me talk about my business and the services I provide, how I got into this field,
and where I see myself going in the future.

Don't miss this broadcast!

Next 30 minute BlogTalk Radio podcast: Wed., 1/30/19 8:30 PM EST: "How to Interrupt Frustrating Impasses and Standoffs With Your Spouse"

In this 30 minute episode I explore the frequently experienced issue of standoffs or impasses in marriage – those times when couples get “locked in” to a negative sequence when nobody feels heard or acknowledged, and nothing gets resolved. These “lock-in’s” can be about critical issues of importance or minor things, but the feelings of frustration, anger, and helplessness generally feel quite awful for each spouse.

Tune in to get some handy tools this couples therapist can teach you to interrupt the impasses, manage yourself more calmly, and move forward with your spouse in a more conciliatory manner.

Join me and have to option to be live on the air with questions or comments by calling toll-free 877-497-9046.

If you can’t make the live podcast you can stream it anytime at: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager.

Like my blog? Vote for me in the Marriage and Relationships Blogs Award Competition!

This blog has been nominated again to be recognized, now in this competition by StartDating.DK, a Dutch online dating resource.

If you enjoy this blog, learn some stuff here about how to manage yourself in your relationships, and want more people to find me and also get tools for better relationships then VOTE for me by clicking on the link below:
https://www.startdating.dk/awards/marriage-relationships-blogs-award

Thanks for your support!
Susan Lager

"Quieting the Noise in Your Head" BlogTalk Radio Podcast Wed. 11/28/18 8:30 PM EST

"You'll never finish that project!"
 "You're a loser!"
"You're too fat and nobody will find you attractive!"
"You're unlovable!"
"You're mean and selfish!"

Chances are, at one point or another in time you've heard that noise in your head - the oppressive voices of self doubt and self denigration. You probably also have experienced the toxic impact this self talk can have, freezing you out of effective action, isolating you, exhausting or overwhelming you.

If you relate to this, then I'd recommend that you tune into my next half hour BlogTalk Radio podcast on Wednesday, November 28th at 8:30 PM EST at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager

If you'd prefer you can call live into the studio with questions or comments at toll-free 877-497-9046.
I'll be discussing this topic, sharing key tools for quieting the noise in your head, such as naming The Voice and understanding the setup ingredients, among others. You don't want to miss this podcast! It could help you lower anxiety, self doubt and your stress response!

*If you'd like some individual help with this issue outside the podcast, feel free to call my confidential voicemail at: 603-431-7131 to make an appointment.

Persistence - Some Signs Indicating Whether It's Working For or Against You

Persistence - Some Signs Indicating if It's Working for You or Not (Barley's Persistence): There in the water is Barley, our grand-dog whom we've been dog sitting for during the past week while our son and daughter-in-law were away at a wedding. We adore Barley, who is very sweet and smart, and unbelievably persistent - possibly partly due to his being half Border Collie and half German Shepherd, both working dogs bred for their determination around completing tasks. What you see above is a moment in time while Barley was in our favorite lake by our boat, swimming around and fetching the ball. What the shot doesn't reveal is that he did this ALL DAY NONSTOP, even when we tried to coax him back into the boat. He was doing his thing, having a blast, enjoying the whole experience. Persistence generally works fine for him. If you think of yourself as being persistent how would you know if it's working for or against you? Persistence can be double edged - it can veer into obsessiveness, alienation and empty efforts creating undue frustration. So, here are some signs to observe to help you determine how your persistence may be a positive or a negative around certain activities and attitudes: 1. Are you having fun in the process or is your blood pressure just getting elevated? 2. Have you issued some sort of disclaimer related to the time you need, or negotiated it with a partner, or are you isolating around your efforts in a way others may find rude or hurtful? 3. Are you experiencing some desired outcome for your efforts or would Barley think that you're barking up the wrong tree? 4. Are you maintaining balance and attending to other things needing your attention or is your persistence canceling out other important things on your agenda? 5. Are you respectful of other's time and energy or is the "bug in your bonnet" leading to excessive reminding, prompting or nagging to get others on board? These are only a few signs which might be good indicators of how persistence is working for you. The main point is to be conscious and intentional about it. It's okay when you're a dog to just "dive in" all day, but most of us don't have that luxury! Susan PS. If you need some outside help with this or any other issue feel free to contact me to set up an appointment. I'd be glad to help! Couplesctr@gmail.com                                          603-431-7131

"Are You Addicted to Your Cell Phone? Take the Test and Make Changes If Needed" BlogTalk Radio Podcast Wed., 6/20 8:30 PM EST

Don't miss my next 30 minute BlogTalk Radio episode on Wednesday, June 20th at 8:30 PM EST:
"Are You Addicted to Your Cell Phone? Take the Test and Make Changes if Needed."
(If you're glued to your cell phone 24/7 then this episode is for you)!

Join me live with questions or comments by calling into the studio at 877-497-9046
Or stream the podcast at your convenience at: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager

I hope you can join me for this information-packed episode!

Avoidance and Denial - Not Such Effective Problem-Solving Strategies!

                     
So, here's a pretty gruesome picture of my poor thumb almost severed. Before you vomit or faint, please read on, so you can avoid creating a similar mess. (This is less of a story about blood and pain and more about how it happened).

My husband and I live in a lovely 40 year old home which has needed some window work for about the last 15 years. The windows are beautiful, all wooden framed and large, but all are what's called "guillotine" windows. Guillotines used to be used for chopping off people's heads, mostly during the French Revolution. When you're referring to a window that way it unfortunately functions in the same manner  - if you don't hold onto the top window while opening the bottom one, whatever is underneath gets chopped off, in this case almost my whole thumb, as per the nasty picture above. Fortunately, I got to the ER in time for the docs to sew the laceration back together, and now, three weeks later it's all in one piece again.

The moral of this little story, however, is that my husband and I used avoidance and denial about the window problem for many years rather than doing our research and finding out if, in fact, they all needed to be replaced (to the tune of about $30,000.) or if we could have them repaired (cost: $3000. and one intact thumb). We just pretended the problem wasn't really one, as we routinely positioned blocks of wood to keep windows open, or hammered top windows shut. It felt like one of those totally un-fun expenses, like getting a new septic tank or a new well, so we avoided it. The irony is that I pulled this little stunt at the beginning of the evening of my husband's birthday, so we "celebrated" him in the ER this year.

If you too have any issues which you've been coping with through avoidance and denial, it might be time to ask yourself what the ultimate price may be for your "problem solving" strategy. How might you be victimizing yourself in the long run? Who else might be negatively effected if you keep pretending the problem isn't really such a big deal? Might you be making a mountain out of a mole hill the way we did? Do you too have any body parts which might ultimately be compromised if you keep putting things off?
Think about it, and figure out some real solution to the problem...

Humbly,
Susan