Talk About Being Thankful!

If you live in the Northeast and your landscape looked anything like this on Thanksgiving, chances are the experience of gratitude took on a whole new meaning this year! When was the last time you felt extremely thankful for having the prerogative to wash your hands with warm running water, or to flush a toilet after doing your business? Or, have you felt thankful for the ability to roast a turkey in the oven properly and not heat up a measly chicken on the grill, after mushing through a foot of snow to get there? Do you routinely want to marry the generator repairman just because he shows up in a timely way? (This time, in the middle of Thanksgiving day!) Are you very grateful when your quirky family shows up, alive? How about feeling thankful for having lights and heat on, simultaneously? Well, I sure was this holiday!

Maybe the universe laughed at us, delivering a big message in an inconvenient but timely way, wacking us with a N'oreaster right in the middle of a holiday geared toward being more thankful. Message understood, thank you.... 

Upcoming BlogTalk Episode 11/12/14 8:30 PM EST: "Dealing with Toxic Relatives During the Holidays"

Don't miss my next half hour BlogTalk Radio episode "Dealing with Toxic Relatives During the Holidays" on Wednesday, November 12th at 8:30 PM EST. I'll be sharing some key strategies for managing the "emotional vampires" who may be sitting at the table with you,  ready to suck the life out of the party. Tune in and get some vital tools to "hold onto yourself," preserving a sense of peace and happiness during these events.

Call in toll-free 877-497-9046 to join me live on the air with questions, comments, or ideas of your own. If the lines are busy, call the regular number: 760-542-4114. I look forward to your being there!

Finally Time for Some Fun!

It's been way too long since I've checked in here with all you folks! It's been a very busy Fall with new clients signing on, several of whom have been Discernment Counseling couples. Then on weekends I've been doing the "end of corporate year" drill, preparing tax figures for my accountant - one of my most hated things to do in life. On top of that, add on changing from Summer to Fall clothes, schlepping boxes down from the attic (I live in a lovely older house with pathetic closet space). Then, mix in Fall chores, cleaning up the gardens, putting away summer fun stuff (again, up in an attic, this time the one above the garage). Into the mix add on a new workout regime designed to strengthen my healing broken ankle - no fun there, mostly a torture invention on a Bosu Ball, designed by Janet, the Nazi trainer. (Only kidding - she's a sweetie pie). Then, mix in appliance breakdowns needing repair, Fall soup cooking, and of course, the perennial website glitches, like, what ever happened to my damned footer????!!!! And, why won't TinyMCE allow me to insert images anymore? Not to mention the newest problem with links! (Don't get me going - the good, amazing news is that I got all the previous stuff done, AND figured out how to insert HTML code into my posts! Victory! Perseverance wins!

So, here I am, back again, happy to say hello, and ready for some serious FUN again. Let the games begin.....:-)

Cheers,                                                                                                                                                 Susan                                                                                                                                                       P.S.  Part of the "fun" for me will be bringing you ideas about relationship issues and scheduling my next BlogTalk Radio episode with my friend and colleague, Meredith Richardson, this coming Wednesday, November 12th. Stay tuned for the topic announcement.

"Sex Therapy Online" - Don't miss this BlogTalk Radio show tonight at 8:30 PM EST!

You don't want to miss this episode tonight at 8:30 PM! My guest will be Rhiannon Beauregard, an experienced sex therapist in New England who's entire practice is now online! We'll discuss what sex therapy is and is not, when someone might be a candidate for this form of treatment, and the advantages of doing it online.

Call toll-free 877-497-9046, or if the lines are busy, call 760-542-4114 to join us live. Call in with a question or a comment, and hear from an expert. Hope you can make it! (If you can't make the live show, catch the recording at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanlager.)

"Sex Therapy Online" - My Next BlogTalk Radio Episode Wed. 10/15/14 8:30 PM EST. Don't Miss This One!

I have a really exciting half hour BlogTalk Radio episode coming up this Wednesday, October 15th at 8:30 PM EST! The show title is "Sex Therapy Online - Is It For You"? My guest will be Rhiannon Beauregard, a certified sex therapist, who will be talking about online sex therapy, what it is, how it works, and when it might be the most useful form of treatment. Call in with questions or comments toll-free 877-497-9046, or if the lines are busy call 760-542-4114. Hope you can be there live! 

Tired of Waiting for Time Off? Use "Time On" Instead!

As the seasons change, many people I know are bemoaning the loss of "time off" they've had in the summer. There's an obvious feeling of ambivalence about the upcoming season of busyness and social obligations dovetailing with work and family responsibilities. People tend to dread being over scheduled and deprived of personal time to self-nurture or play. The myth we seem to have bought into in the American culture is that one needs to be on vacation to fully experience joy, spontaneity, discovery and meaningful connection.

I invite you instead, to explore the experience of what I call "time on," or living your everyday life with more wonder, appreciation and joy. Start by regularly taking a "snapshot" of the present moment - notice your breathing, the air on your skin, the color of the sky, the sound of the wind in the leaves. Notice the quality of the conversation and connection with the person facing you. Take a "snapshot" of this sharing as it is unfolding. Savor it. Drive more slowly and take in the tones of the changing season. Take a "snapshot" of that field of hay, or the person trying to get somewhere in the car next to you. Take a risk and smile at them and your common circumstance. Be more playful with yourself and those around you. Laugh at yourself more often. Be physical - dance, walk, run, move! Appreciate the daily work your body does for you, and treat it with kindness and compassion. Stop, and pet your dog or your cat if you have one. It will be good for both of you. Pick a wildflower and stick it in your hair. Write a poem, play an instrument. Turn off your automatic TV watching, and read a good book or listen to a symphony.

Just be present for your life each day, not just for one or two weeks of vacation in the summer. Use your "time on," your everyday life, to be cognizant of, and grateful for your blessings. You'll be a much happier person.......

Cheers,                                                                                                                                                
Susan                                                                                                                                                      

PS. Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist and eloquent writer, is a terrific resource for the issues of happiness, staying present and in the "now." You can get any of his wonderful books on these subjects at my Amazon store by going to: http://astore.amazon.com/wwwsusanlagec-20

Here Comes Winter

Here it is, October 1st, the leaves are falling, the temperature has dropped radically, and most noticeably, it's getting dark at about 5:30 PM.  No doubt about it, the summer of 2014 has come and gone. Before we know it, we'll be bundled up in winter coats, shoveling or snow-blowing our driveways, freezing our butts getting into frigid cars, looking at a grey and white landscape and hiding out indoors. I love it!

When I admit that, everyone I know, (except for one client today), looks at me like I have two heads. They freely complain about all the above developments, expecting me to commiserate, and when instead I get all warm and fuzzy about the upcoming winter, they probably begin to wonder if they're sitting with a sane person. Some never come back for another session...

I'm convinced that I have the opposite of Seasonal Affective Disorder - the condition in which people's brain chemistry shifts into depressive mode around the lowered level and duration of light in the colder months. For me, I get happier as the skies get grayer and the weather gets murkier. I call it "sultry" weather - nice and cloudy and real chilly. It reminds me of happy adventures in Ireland and England. It may also be some fragment of genetic memory from my slavic ancestry, harkening me back to the cold, dark weather in Russia and Poland, where my grandparents grew up. Or, maybe I really am psychotic. But whatever the origin, I'll share some reasons why you too might look forward to the six month "winter" we're famous for here in Maine, instead of getting all bummed out about it:

• If it was warm and sunny all the time you'd lose the excitement about seasonal changes
• When it's murky and cold out there's no pressure to do fabulous things outdoors
• Grey, cold days give you space to be more still and contemplative, less busy
• There's no need for air conditioners, fans, and other costly energy hogs
• You don't have to tend to your garden or your lawn when there's 2 feet of snow outside
• Without the cold winter you'd never have an excuse to wear all those fabulous boots
• Baths and hot tubs are much more delectable when you're freezing your ass
• You have much more reason to tuck in with a good movie, book or instrument
• How would you ever experience the joy of skiing or snowshoeing without the snow?
• Without winter there would be no good soups, stews or comfort food
• There's no joy like climbing under a cozy down quilt when it's frigid outside
• Monotone landscapes rest your eyes and brain from all the vibrant summer colors
• You pet your thankful dog, cat or hamster more when you're hanging out indoors
• You have more time to read deep, thought-provoking blogs like this one

What more can I say?

So, if you have S.A.D., and are starting to get depressed facing the end of summer, get one of those special lights to reset your brain chemistry, sit back and relax!