Back From the Wedding!

Well, it's been more than a month since I checked in here, and it's not because I've lost my interest in you, gentle reader! No, I've been preparing for and going through one of the most intense milestones a parent can experience - the wedding of our son, Alec to Erin, the woman he loves (and we love) intensely. What an experience!

If you don't have children or haven't yet "married one off," it's hard to imagine the buildup of momentum to the "big day." The outfits, the company, getting the house ready for a week of festivities before and after, the food preparation, the rehearsal dinner, the groomsmen getting dressed and being photographed beforehand, the ceremony, the reception, the pictures, the reviewing of all the events, and then a son who has chosen his mate for life and has gone off to an exotic honeymoon in Madeira. And now, the sweet memories of all those events and the reality of an officially "empty nest"!

This is one of the major milestones in life, not only for a "child," but certainly for the parents on both sides. It forces you to reflect on your years as a parent, how well you did, individually and together as a couple. It also gives you an opportunity to think about how having this child changed your lives. In our case, I tell people that our life went from color to technicolor, and that having a child can be the most joyful, enriching experience ever! (Plenty of stress, and not cheap, but very joyful)....

This milestone also forces you to accept the "letting go," recognizing that your child has chosen a mate, and will be creating a new family of their own. It's bittersweet. You can't have any illusions about having much control of your child's choices and destiny. For me, that one is a challenge, as I like to think I'm the leader.

And finally, this transition shifts your focus onto the next chapter of your life as a couple. What are your goals and your dreams? What have you been detoured from because of the all-inclusive task of parenting? What now?

So here I am, back to my regular, everyday life, full of wonderful memories and big dreams...

Learn to live "Life Your Way" with Dr. Amy Wood on 6/3/15 BTR 8:30 PM

Don't miss this next 45 minute show with prize winning author Dr. Amy Wood! Get some great ideas about how to get off the treadmill of an automatic, "shoulds" life, and move more confidently by instinct, lessening the noise and chatter around you, into a happier, more authentic life.

Go to www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager at 8:30 PM EST 6/3/15 and listen in live streaming, or call 877-497-9046 to join us live on the air with questions or comments.

Wednesday, June 3rd 8:30 PM EST BlogTalk Radio episode: "Life Your Way" - A Talk With Author Amy Wood"

Don't miss my next 45 minute BlogTalk Radio episode, "Life Your Way" - A Talk with Author Amy Wood." We'll discuss this prize-winning, vital book which provides a compelling approach on how to manage the constant "Go! Do! Be Better!" stresses of 21st century American life.

Get some really useful insights on how you can use your instincts and intuition to find balance and confidence, and how to move more intentionally toward a happier, more fulfilling life.

Call toll-free 877-497-9046 to join us on the air with questions or comments, or to just listen and benefit from the conversation about such an important topic.

Can't make the live show? Catch the recording afterward at: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/Susanlager

Give Yourself a Break!

It's been awhile since I've checked in here because I've been practicing what I preach: giving myself a break. And, you know what? Nobody got killed! I took time to do some light gardening, some socializing with family and friends, some cooking and baking, some Spring organizing, some reading, and some mindless fun. It was totally delightful. For a few weeks no major trainings, no BlogTalk Radio shows, no bookkeeping, no internet work, no professional reading, no raking and mulching, and no blog writing. It was a daily practice of exorcizing my "shoulds," and I would strongly recommend it to all of you as part of your mental health workout.

People today talk constantly about being too busy, but often don't challenge the underlying assumptions and automatic or duty-driven behaviors which fuel the compulsive whirlwind of activity. Companies expect employees to be available without limitations, so it exacerbates the perception and experience of busyness as "loyal," "responsible" and "valued."

I would invite you however, to step off the emotional treadmill every so often to stop and smell the roses. Be silly, non-"productive," self indulgent, time "wasting," and in the moment. Relax, and see what happens.....

"Low Sex Drive in Women" Don't miss the show!

REMINDER!  Countdown to my next BlogTalk Radio episode on 4/22/15 8:30 PM EDT.  Don't miss this 45 minute episode if you're over 40 and couldn't care less if you ever have sex again. Don't miss this episode if your husband is pressuring you to take some initiative sexually, and you feel resentful, tired, or blasé.

Find out the myths and the truths about a common issue nobody wants to talk about. Join me and my co-host, Dr. Terri Vanderlinde, an OB- GYN in private practice in Dover, NH.  Get out of the dark with some needed information and some TOOLS!

Call toll-free 877-497-9046 to join us live on the air to just listen or to share your questions or comments. If you can't make the live show catch the recording at: www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager

"Low Sex Drive in Women - What You Need to Know if You're Over 40": Next BlogTalk Radio episode 4/22/15 8:30 PM EDT

Are you a woman over forty with a few noisy kids, a demanding job, a messy house, and an even more sexually demanding husband? Is sex the last thing you're interested in at the end of another commotion-filled day? Is your husband wondering why you no longer find him irresistible - or thinking maybe you have a lover? Is he cranky, frustrated and feeling rejected? Do you feel more dread and pressure at "bedtime"?

If any of this sounds familiar, realize you're not alone, and don't miss my next 45 minute BlogTalk Radio episode about this very common problem! I'll be co-hosting with Dr. Terri Vanderlinde, a board certified OB-GYN in private practice in Dover, NH.  She deals with this issue often in her work with women and their partners, so she's a wealth of information about "low libido" in midlife, what it is and isn't, and what can be done to deal with it.

Call toll-free 877-497-9046 to join us live on the air with questions or comments. If you can't make the live show, catch the recording at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/SusanLager anytime at your convenience. You (and your husband or partner) will be very glad you did!

Cheers,
Susan
PS. If you and a spouse or partner are wrestling with this issue and want some professional help, feel free to call me for an appointment at 603-431-7131

Retail Meditation

I've often teased my husband about how he goes into his "happy place" when he's fishing, especially from his kayak. He slips into a total trance, paddling softly, examining the shallow water for fish and lures other people have left behind. I could be drowning in the next kayak, or there could be a nuclear holocaust and he'd be completely immersed in a Zen meditative state. (I think he's in good company with half the planet in this way.)

Well, I've noticed something similar about myself and what I think may be true for millions of women: when I'm on a shopping mission searching for a specific item, I'm either in a store or online, totally immersed in the experience, focused and calm, in much the same way as when I play my guitar, maneuver my kayak, ski or garden. I used to think of the shopping as being too material, but I now realize that it's a form of meditation - retail meditation! Whenever I'm in a store I observe something similar seeming to happen for mostly other women - they sail around with their carts, looking for this or that, with contented smiles on their faces, calm and centered, in what looks like a perfect state of "flow." I don't know if they're on drugs or engaged in compulsive shopping, but they sure seem to be present in the moment!

So, if you engage in the same behavior, and you're not overspending or avoiding some other responsibility, try not to let your inner critic define the experience as shallow. You may instead be honoring a biologically wired "gathering" instinct and doing a moving meditation. If it centers and calms you, it may be just what you need at that time!

Susan Lager                                                                                                                                          

PS. If you need more help with silencing your judgmental inner critic, feel free to call me for an appointment: 603-431-7131