Try New Things In The New Year!

Hello Reader,

Now that all your  presents are unwrapped, (and hopefully, already paid for), the guests have gone home, (or if they're leaving from New England, they are TRYING to go home amidst this post Christmas blizzard), the leftovers are in the fridge, (hopefully you have leftovers, and didn't eat it ALL), you're filled with more good memories, (hopefully it wasn't a nightmare holiday), and you too, are looking forward to the New Year, with new chances to do better, or to just do some new, adventurous things.
As for me, I've taken the big plunge, and am about to go live with my first BlogTalk Radio show episode, "Radically Raise Your Relationship IQ in 2011", airing on Thursday, 12/30 at 11:00 PM for all you nightbirds. The call-in number is 1-760-542-4114, if you want to just listen, or make comments, or ask questions. But please, go easy, I'm new at this, so don't scare me off the air. The next episode after this, (if I haven't run off to outer Siberia in humiliation), is in about two weeks. I should have a toll-free number, and a co-host yakking with me about some relationship issue. (I'll keep you posted about the details, SO many people are SO shy, it will take awhile to find the intrepid souls who aren't afraid to embarrass themselves). Oddly enough, so many of them have so much wisdom to offer!
So, other than obvious self-promotion, what's the point?  Try new things in the new year, or you'll get stale and rusted! I'm taking my own advice, and doing many new things, thinking, what's the worst that could happen? Failure? Mistakes? So what? Unless we get hit by a truck, there's usually more chances to do whatever it is better, or to let it go. Mistakes, as I say, are "valuable information potentially used for new learning". Here's to courage! Here's to mistakes!

Gotta go help shovel, the snow has arrived, and the Snowblower Guy, my husband, probably could use the moral support.
Susan Lager
PS.  Check out my website, How To Be A Better Couple, subscribe, and get a bunch of free information about relationship issues and tools. (Through this site, you get exclusive access to unpublished reports, and information of mine.)
PSS.  Enter the (anonymous) poll at the bottom of the blog, I'd love to see what you think.

Revised Christmas.... Better?

Hello Reader,

     Here's a simple entry about the power of simplicity.  Our family is in a very labor intensive phase of careers, all of us simultaneously. Too much to do, never enough time, but lots of drive and purpose.
We're in the midst of a social experiment -- none of the usual elaborate decorations, painstaking gift choices, piles of money spent, and frenetic preparation. Instead, very simple sprucing up, a special, but no fuss Christmas day dinner, donations to a few, favorite charities, and together, the next day, a trip to Boston to the Museum of Fine Arts, historic sight-seeing, a delicious brunch, and later, dinner in some exotic restaurant in Back Bay.  No pressure, no racing around, no fuss, no worry!  Simplicity, meaningful giving, and family time........

Good night,
Susan Lager
PS.  Check out my new Facebook page: Susan R. Lager On Facebook
PSS.  Enter your anwers in my holiday poll at the bottom of this blog-- I'm interested in your thoughts.

Beware Of The News!

Hello Reader,

     I came home tonight after a long, satisfying day working in my private psychotherapy practice. There were many meaningful moments filled with honesty, struggle, compassion, celebration, and hilarity. It was a good day, and I felt honored to have participated in these moments with clients. I arrived home to a roaring fire, and a wonderful dinner cooked by my husband and son. There was some earnest conversation, then a decision to check out the evening news. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!  In less than ten minutes, a story about a Maine mother awaiting DNA results identifying the possible remains of her daughter likely slain by a N.Y. serial killer, the discovery of two human skulls on display in a box on a Boston street, the testimonials of the victims of the madman who "unsuccessfully" gunned down a Florida school board and shot himself to death, the suit against B.P. for negligence in their drilling resulting in 11 deaths, lowered questionable standards for lapband surgery driven by profit, etc., etc., etc.  In less than ten minutes, the warm, cozy feelings vaporized by horror and trauma. Conclusion? Be smarter, be more self protective, and beware of the news!

Good night and good luck,
Susan Lager

Martha Stewart Would Be Horrified

Hello Reader,

I have a confession to make. Deep down, I'm a closet Martha Stewart wannabe. One Chanukah-Christmas (we're hybrids, and celebrate both, sort of), I got Martha's "Entertaining" book, and sat in my pajamas for weeks mesmerized by the images of perfect standing rib roasts, elaborate pies, gorgeous appetizers, and eggnog served on antique dinnerware amidst roaring fires, in immaculately clean rooms, all decked out with holly, berries, and winter greens for the holidays. Of course, through the mini-paned windows were scenes of pristine winter wonderland Currier and Ives would have envied. This little trance lived on inside me as I did my best to recreate the pictures in the book. (It never occurred to me that my God Martha had teams of food stylists, set designers, landscape designers, air brushers and the like, to produce this illusion.) (I also failed to notice how smug and chilly and bossy she was, amidst the grandeur).
Fast forward 23 years, post child-rearing, (wonderful, but very messy), post full-time career as psychotherapist, (rewarding, but even messier), to second career as coach, writer, and speaker, (creative and stimulating, but the ultimate "unMartha"). These days, I'm older, and I've lost my innocence. As I still carefully arrange the winter greens in the vases, I forgive Martha for the beautiful fantasy, and I settle into the mushy Italian leather chair which really belongs to our cat Mackey, as I look for the remote, hidden under a pile of bills, ready to watch the news about the world's disasters.

Goodnight for now,
Susan Lager
PS. Stay tuned for my upcoming Blogtalk Radio Show, "The Couplespeak Relationship Forum". (or I may rename it "Couplespeak With Susan Lager")
Whatever the case, I'm sure Martha would have settled on a name by now....

Surviving And Thriving Through The Holidays

Hello Reader!

     How delicious was your Thanksgiving? Hopefully the company was even more delectable than the turkey! Mine was -- my very close "baby sister" from NYC visited me and my family for an extremely fun and relaxing marathon of good meals, intense conversation, movies, sleep(!), sight-seeing, and last but not least, shopping! I hope your holiday was, for you too, a marker of the love and blessings in your life.
If it was more solitary or difficult, hopefully you did stellar self-nurture, and behaved as a best friend to yourself. Remember, you come into and out of this world alone, so it's vital to treat your constant self with  kindness and respect. While I'm on that subject, this self-empathy will serve you well through the rest of the holidays. Be looking for my next Ezine article about managing the holidays more mindfully. In the next day or two it should be published, unless I've unknowingly committed some literary heresy.
For a peek go to: Susan Lager, Ezine Articles Expert Author

Good Night,
Susan Lager
PS. Check out my website for access to more information about relationships:
       HowToBeABetterCouple