"Avoid Money Wars In Your Marriage"

Newsflash!
On Wednesday, January 26th at 10PM tune in to my BlogTalk Radio show, The Couplespeak Relationship Forum for the next exciting episode, "Avoid Money Wars In Your Marriage"!
I'll be co-hosting with Gene Leone, a prominent accountant from Wolfeboro, New Hampshire.
We'll be discussing all the ways couples either make love or war with money, either staying in, or getting out of a marriage. He has as many, if not MORE stories than I do as a couples therapist and coach!
Call in live and you can comment or ask questions on the air. Toll free: 877-497-9046.
(For more specific info on this and past shows go to):  The Couplespeak Relationship Forum
To just listen to a past show, go to the BlogTalk Radio icon at the bottom right side of this blog and click on the one you'd like to hear.

"See" you Wednesday night......
Susan Lager

Relinquishing Control

Hello Reader,

     We're in the middle of (yet another!) snowstorm here in the Northeast, and as clients cancel their appointments, and I watch my carefully planned day dissolve, I'm reminded of one of the five things author David Richo in his book, "The Five Things You Cannot Change", says you must accept in life: that things don't always go according to plan. I'm one of those quasi-Type A personalities, always planning, going and doing, then more planning etc. I pride myself on being very organized, and try to be tolerant of all the less organized, less ambitious characters in my life. I like to think I'm in control, with all my plans, flow charts, and lists. Then a day like today happens, and I realize what a giant delusion it is-- that we actually control almost nothing, except our attitudes and reactions to the slings and arrows life throws at us! For me, when I accept that fact, like today, when I realized that the day was about SNOW, not about appointments, I could finally relax and enjoy it. (I think that's a paradox).
What are YOU trying to control?

Have a great day,
Susan Lager
PS. Check out the latest episode of my BlogTalk Radio show:
      "Sisters, The Good, The Bad, And The In-Between" It was a hoot!
      (You can listen to it from the webplayer at the bottom of this blog).
    
      Also, tune in live next Wednesday, January 26th at 10PM for the next episode,
     "Avoid Money Wars In Your Marriage" at: The Couplespeak Relationship Forum.
      It should be quite interesting......

Next BlogTalk Radio Show....(drumroll).....................

Hi Reader,

     If you missed last night's "Sisters-- The Good, The Bad, And The In-Between" show, you missed some major hilarity! My two sisters and I let it all hang out, no holds barred, about the ups and downs of sisterhood as we've experienced it so far. Some people clam up in a public forum, but not this triad. We talked, (and argued, of course), about all the issues sister face. (Check it out on the BlogTalk Radio button on the bottom-right of this blog).
Tune in for the next Couplespeak Relationship Forum episode, "Avoid Money Wars In Your Marriage", on Wednesday, January 26th at 10PM at : BlogTalk Radio, "The Couplespeak Relationship Forum".
I'll be co-hosting with Gene Leone, a prominent accountant in Wolfeboro, New Hampshire, who will be sharing his thoughts and stories about marriage and money. We've both worked extensively with individuals and couples who have either battled it out financially, or teamed up beautifully with a spouse, in marriage, or in a divorce. This show should be "right on the money", as they say!

Signing off,
Susan Lager

BlogTalk Radio News!

Good (late) Evening, Reader,

     I've made a promise to myself to curtail my nocturnal activity, and go to bed earlier. (I'm not sure why, as I'm rarely tired, I just have bigger bags under my eyes). Anyway, the point is that this entry will be short and sweet, in homage to this New Year's promise I probably won't keep more than a week.
My big news is that hundreds of people have listened to the archived recording of "Radically Raise Your Relationship IQ in 2011"! And it was my first show, complete with a few obvious techno glitches!  But I think the title resonated with a lot of people who just want to do better in all their relationships. (You can play it from the BlogTalk Radio icon near the bottom of this blog). The next show is this Wednesday, January 12th at 10PM, a slightly more user friendly time slot for my non-vampire and non-nightowl listeners. It's called "Sisters, The Good, The Bad, And The In-Between".  I will co-host with my two spunky sisters, and we'll probably fight about all the issues. It should be colorful, informative, and anything but boring! Tune in live, and you can participate with comments and questions on the air. The next show after that will probably be about marriage and money. I'll keep you posted....

Sweet dreams,
Susan Lager
PS.  If you're interested in getting a series of my free reports about all kinds of relationship issues, go to my website and subscribe:
How To Be A Better Couple
  

Last Of The "Face-To-Face"s

Hello Reader,

I had a hilarious psychotherapy session today with a middle aged "salt of the earth"  couple who were bemoaning the pervasive preoccupation with cellphones among the younger generation. They talked about how teens and "twenty-somethings" in particular were guilty of communicating primarily via technology. They had hired some young workers for their business, and discovered that these "kids" no longer even talked on their cellphones --(too personal!)-- they only texted, did it all day long on the job, even did it with the phones in their pockets! The three of us lamented the loss of personal contact among people, and the increasing depersonalization in our society. The husband then referred to our generation as the "last of the 'face-to-face's". We all cracked up, I told him this was a funny-sad, priceless depiction, begging to be shared, and we all moved onto other topics. But it made me think about the truth in the statement. Has personal contact become a quaint vestige of the past, (particularly the ex hippies)? Has an entire generation discarded something precious-- face to face conversation, complete with eye and ear contact? And what's the consequence? Daniel Goleman, in his book "Social Intelligence", thinks we're moving toward "social autism", and that studies indicate it's effecting our brain structure, and even immune function, which is impacted by the quality of our relationships. Scary! How to fight the tide? Use technology as a tool, not a barrier! Be mindful of when you're connecting with your phone, and not the live person in front of you! Limit "screen time" for yourself and your children! Have human face-to-face conversations! Anyway, before I get more carried away, I have to sign off. (My husband went to bed an hour ago, and here I've been, all cozy "talking" to all of you.) Hmmm.............

Goodnight and good luck,

Susan Lager

PS.  For more of my thoughts, insights, and tools for relationship issues, go to my website: www.HowToBeABetterCouple.com and for live discussions about relationship dilemmas, go to my BlogTalk Radio show, "The Couplespeak Relationship Forum". The next scheduled show is on Wednesday, Jan. 12th at 10:00PM:  "Sisters-- The Good, The Bad, And The In-Between". It should be fun, and informative!

Keeping New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year Everybody!

     I hope you all had a fun New Year's Eve, and didn't sit home alone watching the ball drop all over the world. Now that it's 2011, (I can't believe it, just yesterday we were all worried about Y2K!), if you've made some promises to yourself to make some changes, be smart, and don't make empty resolutions that go nowhere. As someone who knows all about bogus resolutions, I'll tell you what I've learned personally, and what I know professionally about how change really happens:
 Go to my website  How To Be A Better Couple for a free report about this issue, which I think may be helpful to you.
     Also, if you'd like to hear the first episode of my new BlogTalk Radio show,  THE COUPLESPEAK RELATIONSHIP FORUM,  titled: "Radically Raise Your Relationship IQ in 2011", go to the bottom part of this blog and click on the BlogTalk Radio icon arrow, and you'll hear the 30 minute show. See what you think!

Enjoy the new year,
Susan Lager