BlogTalk Radio Show "The Power of An Apology" 3/27/13 8:30 PM EST

Don't miss my  BTR show tonight about this very hot topic!


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Conscious Relationships - How Awake Are You?

I have recently come out of my annual tax trance - the time of year when I'm so immersed in columns of figures and tabulations that a meteor could hit the house and I'd barely notice it. Luckily, my impression is that this oblivious state seems to abate in mid March when I return to my usual therapist's occupational hazard of incessantly questioning and noticing things.

I like to think that I'm generally pretty committed to a process of self-examination, particularly in my relationships. It's a daily practice, though, to do this, kind of like working out or maintaining good sleep habits. Like sobriety, it's easy to fall off the wagon and go back into a behavioral and attitudinal trance at any point, so I'll share a few of the 20 key questions I've devised that you can reflect upon in order to be more awake in your relationships:

1. What am I most insecure about?
2. What defenses do I use to protect myself emotionally?
3. How might these defenses be hurtful to others?
4. Are there other, more benign defenses I could use?
5. Do I apologize when I've been out of line? If so, how?
6. Do I self-medicate with substances? If so, how, when, and with whom?
7. What would happen if I were more open?

If you start with these questions, and are honest with yourself about what you see, I think you'll open up a process of taking more responsibility for yourself, and move toward being more awake in your relationships. For more details about the other 13 key "consciousness questions," as well as a wealth of information about how to thrive in all your partnerships, grab a copy of my new workbook, "Become Relationship Smart Without A Lifetime Of Therapy" available in paperback, and now also as an eBook on Amazon at:

http://amzn.to/12ALenB 

I know you'll enjoy it!

Susan Lager

Tax Time Crazies - Same Insanity, New Year....

(It's been almost a year since I entered this post, but I'm submitting it AGAIN to make a painful point: This part of our lives seems to never change! The only major difference I've noted in this department was the year I hired a new accountant, one with a great sense of humor who helps me laugh at all this, just a bit. I refer to hiring Gene as a huge "emotionally corrective experience." But as for the rest of it, I'd rather eat glass). Read on and see why.....

Every year starting in March, and going through April 15th, most everyone I know, myself included, gets weirded out about taxes. Preparing them for the accountant, realizing all the money spent on ridiculous things, waiting to find out the verdict about what's owed or what, if anything will be refunded, then PAYING FOR IT! Most dining room tables have long been lost to piles of papers, documenting finances for the past year. Some tables, I hear, have remained in "tax mode" for years!

It's a little bit like pregnancy and childbirth. The buildup is literally and figuratively huge, the event is unnerving, but then, thankfully it's over and forgotten - until the next time around.

The one consolation is that you are not alone. Thousands and thousands of people procrastinate to the very end when dealing with taxes. (I have clients who were just beginning the whole process this week!) Thousands more are checking their mailboxes daily to get the package back from the accountant telling them if they're screwed or not. (I see at least one neighbor doing this each day.)

Everyone moans about it. Nobody has a viable alternative though, if you like having drivable roads, safe bridges, public schools, and such things.

My best advise? Remind yourself that:

1. This is the un-fun part of being an adult.

2. This too shall pass - at least until next year.......

Cheers,

Susan Lager