In my psychotherapy practice, I routinely work with clients who are striving to be better partners, better sons and daughters, better parents, better employees, better artists, better athletes, better listeners, better friends. They want better lives and better selves.
The endless striving is, in my opinion, a very mixed bag. The reaching and working toward goals of being better can be a wonderful source of excitement, growth, and focus. But it can also exhaust us, and take us away from the reality of the present moment. The treadmill of aspirations can at times invalidate whatever we are feeling and experiencing right now, or just create unhelpful pressure.
Sometimes, particularly when we feel vulnerable in sadness or anxiety, the most compassionate thing we can do for ourselves is to slow down, tuck in, and stop striving for awhile, to release ourselves from the "shoulds" and "to-do" lists, and to get quiet and still, and just be.
The treadmill will always be there, waiting. Try getting off it, at least for awhile, let yourself feel "good enough", and see how peaceful you feel......
To bed "early"(!)
Susan Lager
The endless striving is, in my opinion, a very mixed bag. The reaching and working toward goals of being better can be a wonderful source of excitement, growth, and focus. But it can also exhaust us, and take us away from the reality of the present moment. The treadmill of aspirations can at times invalidate whatever we are feeling and experiencing right now, or just create unhelpful pressure.
Sometimes, particularly when we feel vulnerable in sadness or anxiety, the most compassionate thing we can do for ourselves is to slow down, tuck in, and stop striving for awhile, to release ourselves from the "shoulds" and "to-do" lists, and to get quiet and still, and just be.
The treadmill will always be there, waiting. Try getting off it, at least for awhile, let yourself feel "good enough", and see how peaceful you feel......
To bed "early"(!)
Susan Lager
1 comment:
I just read this post and it really gives a lot of food for thought. I completely agree that "striving" can be such a positive experience and at the same time create tremendous inner conflict. How easy it is to lose the moment in pursuit of so called "perfection". Your suggestions are very helpful (as always).
I find your posts very moving and truthful.
LR
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